Hi. I’m Tony Bax …

Man carrying Uranus Fudge shopping bag outside colorful fudge factory with alien mural

… except, I’m not really Tony Bax. Tony Bax is a pen name, and yeah, it’s kinda cheesy. To be honest, I used on online “pen name generator” (we live in amazing times, kids. When I was young, we used to have to think of our own damn pen names!) and after about 14 tries, I came to “Tony Bax” and said, “Yeah, that’ll do.”

The reason I’m using a pen name is because I’m really not wanting anyone to know who I really am beyond the very few people I know with whom I will share this site. I have spent about three months now anonymizing myself online. There were many reasons for this. Chief among them was that I was appalled when I googled my name and saw how out there my life was. There was a time when I was OK with that; that time has gone.

The other main reason is that some asshole from a copyright troll law firm contacted me and threatened to sue me because I maybe kinda sorta used some supposedly copyrighted images I found online with some blogs from 2022. Dude wanted $15,000. I tried to handle it myself, but copyright trolls are copyright trolls and he wouldn’t go away. Ultimately, I paid a lawyer $500, he wrote that assmunch a letter and voila! The copyright troll went away. Their M.O. is to pester-pester-pester until unsuspecting chumps pay up. Word to the wise: Hire a lawyer. These fuckfaces will go away and find easier marks.

Anywho… Now when I google my name, a lot less stuff appears, and it’s getting less by the day. I’ve deleted my social media accounts, taken down all sorts of archives of past crap, and now I have a freaking pen name! So Tony Bax it is, and Tony Bax I am. Nice to meet you.

I also don’t live in Uranus, Missouri, though I wish I did. For those not in the know, there is an actual place called Uranus, Missouri (though it’s official Post Office designation is St. Robert, which is decidedly more boring), and the best thing about it is that it has a fudge factory.

So … what is the point of all this? Great question. The answer? I dunno. I know that I like to write, I like when people read what I write, and I love when people are entertained or informed or moved by what I write. So I’m gonna write. As Tony FUCKING Bax.


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